Wouldn’t it be nice if when you meet someone, you can confidently introduce yourself and have an amazing conversation thanks to your quick wit and charm? Alas, not everyone is a social butterfly. And when it comes to flirting and dating, shy girls often get the short end of the stick.
It seems unfair, but if you’re shy, the people you go on a date with might mistake your shyness for boredom or lack of interest. Meanwhile, extroverts are seen and approachable and confident.
Being crippled by shyness and introversion in social situations suck, but this doesn’t mean you should give up on finding a love match. Our guide to flirting and dating below is what every shy girl needs.
1. Put effort into expanding your social circle
As an introvert who’s also looking to date, your dilemma may start at meeting people to potentially match with. Of course, there are tons of other ways to meet people with less effort, such as online dating applications and websites that offer services such as elite matchmaking. But nothing beats personal interaction. If you go to a party a friend throws, who knows who you’ll meet there? And even if the person you’re looking for isn’t at a social function, the people you meet may be able to introduce you to someone else.
2. Pay attention to your body language
You might not notice it but the way you move, the placement of your hands, or the way you stand sends different signals to people observing you. Constantly crossing your arms and burrowing your face on your phone screen, for example, give the illusion that conversing with you is unwelcome. If you want to meet people or catch someone’s eye, stand up straight and look around. This helps make you look more approachable so people want to come up and talk to you.
3. Pick a fun first date
So you’ve met someone and you were confident enough to ask them out on or agree to a first date. Don’t pick a typical dinner date as your first! As a shy person, you know there’s nothing more nerve-wracking than making eye contact and coming up with topics to fill the silence that usually accompanies first dates. Instead, suggest something that involves doing an activity.
4. Find a common interest
As previously mentioned, keeping up a conversation going is one of the most daunting parts of dating for introverts. After all, it’s difficult to think up topics when you’re flustered or nervous that you’re going to make a fool of yourself. But you don’t have to struggle with this—you only have to be observant. Pay attention to what the other person is saying and find something that relates to a topic you can speak confidently in or a subject you like. This way, you can keep the conversation going without breaking a sweat instead of letting silence punctuate every conversation.
Above all, keep in mind that dating in itself is challenging. Even outgoing people sometimes struggle with it! Don’t beat yourself up too much and take the time you need to open up and meet a person who’ll like you for you.